Literacy in Labels?

The back of the Kashi cereal box and I have become very intimate. I will give you calories per serving, the top five ingredients, and their peppy slogan, "7 Whole Grains on a Mission!" If I am spending the weekend at your house, be aware that I am picking up your shampoo bottles in the shower and comparing the chemicals in each to one another. Yes, I do read the entire menu even if I already know what I want, and I turn closed captioning on the TV even though I have no trouble hearing. During church, I can't help but notice if there is a misplaced apostrophe on one of the powerpoint slides. I love reading things forwards and backwards--especially backwards because once in a while I get a funny word, like "agabatur" from "rutabaga," or "noelopan" from "napoleon."

I like reading nametags because then I can picture a tiny drawing made from the letters to help me remember the name. For example, the Sue I met this summer at the church picnic had those two really annoying kids who kept pushing each other down the slide, and I imagine them, just so, riding down Sue's little curved S.

On road trips, I get car sick if I read novels. So, I read highway mile signs, billboards, "For weather information, tune your radio to ------" signs, "You have just entered ------" signs, construction signs, warnings, and car makes and models.

Beware if you grocery shop with me because I will read every brand and sometimes just pick a product based on how poetically or cleverly the words mesh. I hate sitting in college classrooms because there are no sappy inspirational posters for my eyes to revert to when the lecture gets boring. So instead, I read the backs of people's shirts and I try to spell every person in the class's name backwards in my head, starting in one corner and ending in the other.

But I hate reading long and boring textbooks. I don't like strings of unnecessary words in a paragraph and I don't love every novel I read. Gasp. And it's not like I find great insight in reading Drivers' Ed manuals, but I didn't really realize what a fancy I had for reading things in everyday life until I was prompted to write this blog. So this makes me wonder--are people who only read labels, signs, and the backs of movie boxes considered "uneducated" because they haven't read the entire Paradise Lost? Maybe, by some people. But they probably have a lot more common sense than people who can only define what a heroic couplet is and can't operate a toaster. Just saying.